ProfessorBainbridge.com

Frank Caliendo nails Mel Kiper

I love Frank Caliendo (saw his act in Vegas and he killed). His impression of ESPN draft asshole guru Mel Kiper might be even better than Caliendo's impression of John Madden:

BTW, I'm tweeting NFL draft reactions at @ProfBainbridge

Snarky Tweet of the Day

UPDATE: Boston Police are asking social media users to post only information reported by CNN, so as to confuse and befuddle their quarry.

— George Wallace (@foolintheforest) April 20, 2013

Mid-season football game between 3-3 and 2-4 teams beats World Series TV ratings

I find that fact very interesting.

"Tell him he shall have it"

I love this old docudrama on Benjamin Disraeli and this scene may be my favorite moment in it. I love how the guy playing Baron Rothschild just casually tells him he shall have it, but I love even more the answer to the question "What is your security?" Disraeli and Rothschild were very cool customers.

Basically, run

Maybe my favorite Dr Who moment ever:

The new Highlander: An even guiltier pleasure than the first

In in order to enjoy Highlander in any form you have to be willing to overlook conventional logic and reason. And though the recent casting news of Ryan Reynolds as the lead in the impending reboot film might sound lame, it actually makes perfect sense.

Because Highlander has always been about being brazenly lame. And if there’s one person who gets how do that it, it’s Ryan Reynolds.

via www.tor.com

The Highlander films (except the especially execrable Higlander 2) and the live action TV show havealways been among my guilty cultural pleasures. Ryan Reynolds will doubtless make me feel even guiltier about loving the franchise. Cool.

BTW, whatever happened to Adrian Paul?

Has Top Gear Jumped the Shark?

I yield to no one as a fan of BBC's Top Gear, but even I am having a hard time defending the current series (#18) on BBC America. It feels tired, formulaic, and lazy. The (more obviously) scripted sections, like tonight's tiresome bit about making a car chase for the Sweeney film, have been unfunny snooze fests all series. In the Sweeney bit, in particular, Clarkson and Hammond seemed to be just mailing it in. 

To be sure, nothing's been quite as cringe worthy as the wedding car bit from series 15. Instead, it's just dreadfully monotonous. It seems like we've heard all these jokes a 1000 times and seen minor variants on the same segment dozens of times. It seems like they're just going through the motions.

I'm still prepared to defend Clarkson, May, and Hammond when they go off the PC reservation. 

I just never thought I'd have to defend them for being lame.

Name the source of "Guys, I know kung fu"

Regular readers will recall that my eight deadly enemies dear friends over at Truth on the Market have thrown down the gauntlet in our race to win the best business law blog at the ABA top 100 law blogs of 2011. In the comment section over at their so-called "blog," I replied that:

Eight to one. Sounds like a fair fight. Luckily, “I know kung fu.”

BTW, bonus points will be awarded for spotting the derivative source of the quotation as well as the original source.

To which our friend Tung Yin replied:

“The Matrix,” after Tank downloads kung fu skills into Neo?

But isn’t the more apt (though less familiar) quote “I’ll handle this” — said by Neo to Morpheus and Trinity as an indication that he can deal with the Merovingian’s five fighters, given the N on 1 nature of the fight?

The Matrix is, of course, the original source of the line "I know kung fu." And Prof. Yin makes an apt suggestion for an alternative quote.

But what about the derivative use? Do you know what TV show (there's a hint) has now swiped the line a total of three times? Here's two more hints: It's my second favorite TV show and it's in its last season.

BTW, the evil bastards good folks at TOTM have pulled into a 72-68 lead. So if you haven't voted for PB.com yet, please go do so right now.

C-SPAN Coverage of STOCK Act Hearing

C-SPAN is broadcasting the hearing and comments that:

A Senate committee holds a hearing on insider trading by members of Congress and their staffs. The committee examines two proposals that would ban lawmakers and their staffs from stock trading based on information not available to the public. ...

In his opening statement, Governmental Affairs Committee Chairman Joe Lieberman (I-CT) said "Whether or not there is conclusive evidence (that insider trading has occurred)...there ought to be a law that explicitly deters such unethical and illegal activities by members of Congress."

Has SyFy Given up on Science Fiction?

The cancellation of Eureka continues a worrisome trend by SyFy away from its roots. Darren Franich observes that:

The news that Syfy has canceled Eureka would have already been disappointing to fans — particularly since the network also backtracked on an earlier plan to order a shortened sixth season. But more than a few viewers are taking the news as evidence that the network formerly (and more accurately) known as the Sci-Fi Channel is suffering from an existential crisis. Commenter Doug sardonically voices the complaint of several EW readers when he says, “Now they have room for another Wrestling show or ‘Reality’ paranormal special.” Exombre notes: “MTV doesn’t show videos anymore, why should ‘Syfy’ have any legitimate science fiction?” Is Syfy having an identity crisis?

The answer seems obvious:

It was announced in March that Tommy Lee was developing an investigative travel show for the Syfy network. Dubbed "Culture Shock with Tommy Lee", the unscripted series will star Lee as he attempts to uncover various rituals, symbols, and other mysteries of secret societies. Lee will immerse himself in the history of each society, meet with former members and participate in their ceremonies.

"This is the first show that I've been a part of that will blow our minds and reveal things that will explain almost all our questions," Lee said. "I'm very excited to be partnering with Syfy on this show. It’s going to be an amazing experience for all involved."

The new identity, it seems, is crappy reality paranormal programming, interspersed with wrestling.

As a result, for those of us whose cable or satellite systems provide it, the best science fiction channel on TV now is BBC America. Plus, they have Top Gear!

Musing on Nancy Grace

I don't like Nancy Grace. In fact, let's be honest, I find her utterly loathsome. In the name of ratings, she rushes to prejudge every case (and always on the side of the prosecution), she blatantly takes sides, she's an abusive interviewer, she's intellectually dishonest, and she's a coward. Recall when she lead the mob that chased the Duke lacrosse team? When they were declared innocent, she just happened to take that night off:

“Shortly after the alleged March 14 assault, wild stories began to circulate about what had transpired at 610 North Buchanan. Within days Nancy Grace was claiming — falsely – that the players had refused to provide DNA samples…Grace then invited a series of guests who would take orgiastic delight in the demonization of three young lacrosse players…

“Nancy Grace even vilified those who cautioned the rush to judgment might be premature. During one interview Stephen Miller of the Duke Conservative Union began to worry that ‘two innocent people may have possibly …’ But Grace quickly cut him off: ‘Oh, good lord! … I assume you’ve got a mother. I mean, your first concern is that somebody is falsely accused?’”

Jon Stewart of The Daily Show also skewered Grace over her enthusiastic support of the false accuser, noting that Grace is “the person who had staked the most on this case.” On April 11, 2007 North Carolina Attorney General Roy Cooper announced they were dismissing the charges and said that the accused players “are innocent.” The next day Stewart asked “Put through hell for over a year–how will the media show contrition?” He then said “let’s see how Nancy Grace handled it” and cut to Grace’s April 11 show–and there was a substitute host!

This sort of thing can't be good for the rule of law, especially when Grace berates the tot mom jury for having done their job. She taints the jury pool with her lies and misjudgments and then bullies jurors who nevertheless do their best to follow the law.

But what do you expect from somebody whose prosecutorial record was tainted by repeated improprieties. In a 2009 law review article (55 Wayne L. Rev. 1327), Jeffrey L. Kirchmeier, Stephen R. Greenwald, Harold Reynolds, and Jonathan Sussman wrote that:

In another case, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Eleventh Circuit noted that a prosecutor played “fast and loose” with her ethical duties for failing to turn over exculpatory evidence in a murder case. Stephens v. Hall, 407 F.3d 1195, 1206 (11th Cir. 2005) (affirming conviction under a deferential federal habeas corpus review standard despite the ethical concerns). The prosecutor in Stephens, Nancy Grace, now has her own national television show. See CNN webpage, http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/nancy.grace (last visited Jan. 23, 2010). Nancy Grace's ethics as a prosecutor were questioned in other court opinions too. In Bell v. State, the Georgia Supreme Court granted the defendant a mistrial because Nancy Grace's statements in closing argument exceeded the scope of proper argument in that heroin trafficking case. Bell v. State, 439 S.E.2d 480, 481 (Ga. 1994) (“By referring to such extraneous and prejudicially inflammatory material in her closing argument, the prosecutor exceeded the wide latitude of closing argument, to the detriment of the accused and to the detriment of the fair administration of justice.”). See also Carr v. State, 482 S.E.2d 314, 322 (Ga. 1997) (“[T]he conduct of the prosecuting attorney demonstrated her disregard of the notions of due process and fairness, and was inexcusable.”). According to the Brief and Enumerations of Error in Carr, “the prosecuting attorney engaged in an extensive pattern of inappropriate and, in some cases, illegal conduct in the course of the trial.” Brief and Enumerations of Error, Carr v. State, 1996 WL 33482455, at *152-64 (July 24, 1996) (detailing Grace's role in the trial).

 

What if the Emperor was the good guy?

io9 has a list of movie tropes that need to be reversed, so that we see the other side's perspective. One of them is a theme I've wanted to see for a long time:

The freedom-loving rebels against the fascist empire.

From the empire striking back, to a ragtag group of serene space-western characters, to a guy who has a fetish for the letter V, this has to be the most popular storyline. I know that those who trade security for freedom end up losing both, and movies show that very well. The problem is, before you get to the point where you lose both, it's still a trade-off. And the term trade-off means that both concepts have value. To the rebels, the fascists who run their world have gone too far. What if there was a movie where, from some perspectives at least, they hadn't?

Isn't there someone on the Death Star who just wants to keep order in a massive system of planets, all filled with Cantinas in which people get shot regularly? Maybe this guy doesn't understand why people keep trying to blow up his workplace. What about the Alliance, which fought a war to try to organize and supply a sprawling galaxy full of colony planets, and is rightly annoyed by people randomly stealing from them? And while it's clear that the intolerant government that V railed against supported monsters, they also kept their country together when others were falling apart. How would a person working in that government react to a guy who takes hostages, shoots cops, and blows up buildings? The rebels want freedom, which sounds good in pop songs, but is that always the best idea? A look at the other side, for once, might make a good movie.

I'd love to see that movie.

Ten Game of Thrones Thoughts

So I've been watching HBO's adaptation of George RR Martin's A Game of Thrones: A Song of Ice and Fire: Book One (See all Literature & Fiction Books) and rereading the book at more or less the same pace. Herewith some random thoughts, offered FWIW. POSSIBLE SPOILERS WARNING

1. Peter Dinklage is stealing the TV series. He brings to the part of Tyrion precisely the right amount of Napoleonic swagger and, dare I say it, impishness. Perhaps it is my knowledge of what follows in future books, but one can see in Dinklage's performance the potential for Tyrion to turn on his family and eventually become one of the good guys. It's great that such a wonderful actor has finally gotten such a major star vehicle.
2. Catelyn Stark comes off as much less of a bitch in the TV series than in the books, but in either case she remains one of my least favorite characters.
3. I guess it's now conventional wisdom that Jon Snow will turn out to by Lyanna Stark's son. I used to think that Robert Baratheon was his father, but I've come around to the view that Snow is really Rhaegar Targaryen's son. It makes Ned's squeamishness about killing off Targaryen children much more plausible. It also fits with Ned's ruminations on the promise he made Lyanna. A promise to bury her in the North just wouldn't carry all that weight, IMHO. Plus, we know that Rhaegar raped Lyanna "hundreds of times," but I don't think we have any evidence that Robert bedded her before she died. Robert was more likely to have whored around than to seduce the daughter and sister of important allies like the Stark family.
4. I figure Snow and Daenerys end up together (it is, after all, a son of fire and ice). If Jon Snow is Rhaegar's bastard, it fits the Targaryen pattern of intra-family marriages.
5. The kid playing Arya makes her character seem much less annoying. In the books, I find her rather whiny.
6. Conversely, the kid playing Prince Joffrey has precisely the right tone of evil little sh*t for the role.
7. Lena Headey doesn't work as a blonde for me.
8. For a guy who we're told won the war in the south alone, Ned Stark sure makes a lot of dumb tactical decisions.
9. Turning Drogo and Daenerys' wedding night from a tender moment (in the book) to a virtual rape (on TV) seemed unnecessarily salacious, especially given all the other sexual chicanery the story contains.
10. I feel sort of sorry for Sean Bean. His two biggest roles--Boromir and Ned Stark--both get killed off in the first movie. Maybe someday he'll get a role that lets him stick around to the end?

Improving Star Trek: make it a lot darker

I was struck by an something from an io9 post on Star Trek episodes:

A lot of these killer Trek episodes seem to take place in alternate universes. It’s like when the conventions of being outside the nicey-nice Federation are gone—everybody suddenly goes all Dirty Harry. ...

Kirk is able to pretend to be a tyrant. .... Uhura gets to almost knife somebody, Spock looks super dangerous with a beard, and everybody is carrying around little things called “Agonizers.”

I loved Star Trek TOS as a kid, enjoyed TNG as a thirty-something, thought DS9 was okay, and never got into either Voyager or Enterprise. Part of the reason, I suppose, was that as I got older and more conservative, the politics of the people who make Star Trek shows got ever more annoying. Another part, however, was a developing preference for darker themes and more complex heroes than the binary good/evil options of Star Trek or Star Wars. Think Elric versus Frodo, for example.

So if they ever bring Star Trek back to TV, I'd love to see a series set in one of those Dirty Harry alternate universes. And how about a Star Wars Episode 7 in which Thrawn beats the crap out of the Jedi, while we're at it? Or a version of the LotR in which Sauron is the good guy?

Hey, wait a minute. We already have that last one. But that's the next post.

 

Female action heroes

io9:

Action heroines are rare creatures. The earliest were female versions of pre-existing male heros, like Wonder Woman, BatGirl and SuperGirl. Some more recent heroines have their roots in fantasy or sci-fi, like Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Selene from Underworld, or Alice from Resident Evil. But while there are plenty of realistic male heroes who run, jump and fight without being cartoony or existing in a vampire realm - think Jason Bourne, James Bond or Ethan Hunt - there are very [few] female counterparts.

Maybe so. But I think there have been some awfully good ones. Off the top of my head and in no particular order: Sarah Walker. Samantha Caine. The Bride. Mrs. Smith. Evelyn Salt. Nikita. Erica Bain. Sydney Bristow. Grace Hanadarko. Mary Shannon. Pretty much every character Michelle Yeoh's played. Ditto re Pam Grier. All wonderful action characters at least as "realistic" as Jason Bourne or James Bond (and most of them could probably kick Biond's butt).

And what's wrong with SF heroines? The iconic Sarah Connor. The great, great Ellen Ripley. Emma (be still my heart) Peel. Xena. Trinity. Starbuck (reimagined). Abby Maitland. Dana Scully.