Ilya Somin points to a list of The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord, which is premised the observation that "on every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time."
The whole list rewards reading, but here are few personal faves:
- When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
- One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
- My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice. (PB: Did an Imperial Stormtrooper ever hit anybody in Star Wars IV through VI? Once?)
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COMMENT:
AUTHOR: M. Hodak
URL: http://www.hodakvalue.com/blog
DATE: 07/23/2007 04:57:10 PM
Very funny list. My three favs:
1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
15. I will never employ any device with a digital
countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set
it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his
plan into operation.
98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will
carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate,
I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against
their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other
except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others'
lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately
order their execution.
